Lending Money to Family and Friends (and Co-Signing)
"Can I borrow some money?" When it's a sibling, adult child, or close friend asking, it can be hard to know what to do. Saying no feels unloving. Saying yes can strain your budget, and sometimes the relationship. And co-signing a loan raises even bigger questions.
God calls us to generosity
Psalm 37:26: "He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed."
Luke 6:35: "But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again."
Generosity toward people in need is a mark of a godly life.
Scripture warns about co-signing
Proverbs 22:26–27: "Be not thou one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts. If thou hast nothing to pay, why should he take away thy bed from under thee?"
Proverbs 17:18: "A man void of understanding striketh hands, and becometh surety in the presence of his friend."
"Striking hands" and becoming "surety" describe guaranteeing someone else's debt, much like co-signing today. Proverbs repeatedly warns against it because you become fully responsible if they can't pay.
Wise principles for lending
1. Only lend what you can afford to lose. Many families have learned the hard way that loans to loved ones aren't always repaid.
2. Consider giving instead of lending. If you can afford it, a gift avoids the tension of an unpaid debt. "Hoping for nothing again" can protect the relationship.
3. Be clear about terms. If it's a loan, agree on the amount, timeline, and payments, and write it down.
4. Don't put your own family at risk. Providing for your household is a responsibility too (1 Timothy 5:8).
5. Watch for patterns. Repeated requests may point to a deeper issue. Enabling isn't always loving.
6. Help in other ways. Sometimes help looks like paying a specific bill, buying groceries, helping with a budget, or connecting someone with resources.
About co-signing
Before co-signing a loan, lease, or credit card, understand that you're legally responsible for the full debt if the other person doesn't pay, and it can affect your credit. Many wise believers choose not to co-sign at all, in light of Proverbs.
It's okay to say no
Saying no kindly can be loving and wise: "I care about you, and I can't lend money right now. Can I help in another way?"
This article offers general biblical principles, not personal financial or legal advice.
A prayer
Lord, give me a generous heart and a wise mind. Help me know when to give, when to lend, and when to say no. Protect my relationships and my family. Amen.
