When Your Adult Child Is Incarcerated: A Parent’s Heart
When your adult son or daughter is in jail or prison, the grief can be enormous: for the child you raised, the choices they made, the people they may have hurt, and the future you hoped for. Many parents also carry quiet questions: What did I do wrong?
You are not the sum of your child’s choices
“The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son” (Ezekiel 18:20). Every parent makes mistakes. But your adult child made their own choices, and you are not condemned for them. If you need to repent of something, God forgives. Then let Him lift the rest.
Love them without excusing them
You can love your child deeply and still acknowledge the harm they caused. You can visit, write and pray while also honoring any victims and supporting justice. Love and truth go together.
The father who waited
In Jesus’ story of the prodigal son, the father didn’t go into the far country to drag his son home. He kept watching the road, and when his son came back, he ran (Luke 15:20). Your role now may be to keep watching, praying, and leaving the porch light on.
Take care of the rest of your family
Your other children, your marriage and your own health still need you. Don’t let one crisis swallow everyone. Ask for help.
A prayer
“Lord, this is my child. You know every part of their story, and mine. Meet them in that place, bring them to You, and comfort every person they hurt. Hold my heart while I wait. Amen.”
See Waiting on the Porch, made for parents of prodigals, and Not Forgotten.
