5 Biblical Ways to Show Love Your Spouse Will Actually Feel
You can love your spouse deeply and still miss the mark. You do the dishes; they wanted a conversation. You buy a gift; they wanted a hug. People feel loved in different ways, and learning your spouse's way is a beautiful act of humility.
Love that's tailored
1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to dwell with their wives "according to knowledge." That principle applies both ways. Love grows when you study the person you love.
Philippians 2:4: "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others."
Five biblical ways to show love
1. Kind words. "Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul" (Proverbs 16:24). Encourage, praise, and say "I love you" often.
2. Acts of service. Jesus washed feet (John 13). Take a task off your spouse's plate.
3. Focused time. Jesus withdrew with His disciples to rest (Mark 6:31). Put the phone away and be fully present.
4. Affection. Jesus touched the hurting and held children. A hug, a hand on the back, or sitting close says "you're safe with me."
5. Thoughtful gifts. The wise men brought gifts to honor Jesus. A small, thoughtful gift says "I was thinking of you." Ideas: our Christian Valentine's gifts work any time of year.
How to learn your spouse's way
- Ask: "When do you feel most loved by me?"
- Notice what they complain about. "We never spend time together" is a clue.
- Notice how they show love. People often give love the way they want to receive it.
Try this
This week, each of you writes three specific things that make you feel loved. Swap lists and do one each day.
A prayer for loving well
Lord, help me love my spouse the way they need, not just the way that's easy for me. Give me eyes to see and a heart to serve. Amen.
More in our Christian Marriage blog.
