Marriage Mentors: Why Every Christian Couple Needs One
Most couples wouldn't try to learn a trade without a teacher. Yet many try to build a marriage with no guidance at all. A mentor couple, a husband and wife a few steps ahead of you, can be one of the greatest gifts to your marriage.
The Bible values mentoring
Titus 2:3–5 instructs older women to teach younger women how to love their husbands and children. Paul mentored Timothy. Moses mentored Joshua. Faith has always been passed from one generation to the next.
Proverbs 27:17: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."
Proverbs 15:22: "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established."
What a mentor couple offers
- Perspective. They've been through seasons you haven't yet.
- Normalizing. Hearing "we struggled with that too" brings relief.
- Accountability. Someone who will ask how you're really doing.
- A living example of a marriage that lasted.
How to find a mentor couple
1. Pray. Ask God to lead you to the right people.
2. Look around your church. Look for couples whose marriage you admire, not perfect, but faithful.
3. Just ask. "We admire your marriage. Would you be willing to have dinner with us a few times this year?" Most couples are honored.
4. Ask your pastor. Many churches have formal mentoring programs.
Making it work
Meet monthly or quarterly. Come with questions. Be honest. Mentoring doesn't have to be formal; dinner and real conversation are enough.
Become a mentor
If you've been married a while, consider mentoring a younger couple. You don't need a perfect marriage, just an honest one. Your story of God's faithfulness, including the hard parts, can be exactly what someone needs.
A prayer for mentors
Lord, surround our marriage with wise counsel. Lead us to a couple who can guide us, and when it's time, help us pour into others. Amen.
More in our Christian Marriage blog.
