Christian Premarital Questions to Ask Before Marriage
Engaged couples spend months planning a single day. The wisest couples spend just as much time preparing for the marriage. These premarital questions will help you have the conversations that matter most, before you say "I do."
Why ask hard questions now?
Proverbs 24:3: "Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established."
Surprises after the wedding are much harder to navigate than honest conversations before it.
Faith
- What does your relationship with Jesus look like day to day?
- How will we pray and read Scripture together?
- Where will we attend church?
- How do we each understand roles in marriage?
Money
- Do you have debt? How much?
- Will we combine finances?
- How do you feel about tithing and giving?
- Are you a spender or a saver?
Family and children
- Do you want children? How many, and when?
- How were you disciplined growing up, and what would you do differently?
- How involved do you expect our parents to be?
- Where will we spend holidays?
Conflict and communication
- How did your parents handle conflict?
- What do you need when you're upset: space or conversation?
- What are you most afraid of in marriage?
Life and future
- Where do you see us living in five years?
- What are your career goals?
- What are your expectations about intimacy?
- Is there anything from your past I should know?
Tips for these conversations
Go slow. Cover one section per date.
Listen without judgment. Honesty needs safety.
Do premarital counseling. Many churches offer it, and it's one of the best investments you can make.
Watch for red flags. If something deeply concerns you, it's wiser to pause than to hope it changes. Read Christian Red Flags No One Talks About.
A prayer for engaged couples
Lord, prepare us not just for a wedding but for a lifetime. Give us honesty, wisdom, and humility as we talk. Build our house on You. Amen.
More in our Christian Marriage blog.
