Finding a Counselor
A lot of people never get help simply because the process is confusing. Here’s a plain-English guide: who to see, how to find them, what it costs, and what to expect.
“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.”Proverbs 20:5
Who should I see?
Tap what sounds most like you.
Do I really need counseling?
You don’t have to be in crisis to go. Counseling can help if:
- You’ve felt down, anxious or numb most days for two weeks or more
- It’s affecting your sleep, work, school or relationships
- You’re using alcohol, food, screens or anything else to cope
- You’re stuck in grief, carrying trauma, or the same conflict keeps repeating
- You just want help thinking clearly through a hard season
If you’re having thoughts of ending your life, don’t wait for an appointment. Call or text 988 now.
Who’s who: the letters after their names
How to find one (including low-cost options)
- Ask your doctor for a referral.
- Call the number on your insurance card and ask for in-network mental health providers.
- Check for an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) at work. Many offer several free, confidential sessions.
- Search an online therapist directory. Many let you filter by insurance, location, telehealth and faith.
- Ask your church if they keep a list of trusted counselors, or have a benevolence fund that can help with costs.
- Community mental health centers often charge on a sliding scale based on income.
- University training clinics (counseling or psychology programs) often offer low-cost sessions with supervised graduate students.
- Telehealth can make it easier to fit sessions into your life, or to find someone if there’s no one nearby.
- SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357. Free, confidential, 24/7 help finding treatment, in English and Spanish. You can also search findtreatment.gov.
For teens: a school counselor is a great first step, and they can help you talk to your parents.
What to say when you call
Many offices let you request an appointment online or by email if calling feels like too much.
Questions to ask a counselor
- Are you licensed in my state?
- Do you have experience with ___?
- How do you approach faith in counseling? Are you comfortable with mine being part of our work?
- What does a typical session look like?
- How will we know if it’s working?
- What do you charge, and do you take my insurance?
About “Christian counselors”: a Christian counselor should be a licensed professional who also integrates faith. Ask about their license. And a good licensed counselor who isn’t Christian should still respect your faith.
What the first session is like
- There’s usually some paperwork, and questions about what brought you in, your history and your goals.
- It’s normal to feel nervous. You can share at your own pace.
- You won’t fix everything in one session. Most people start feeling a difference after several.
- Fit matters. If it doesn’t feel right after a few sessions, it’s okay to try someone else. That’s not failure.
Red flags to watch for
- Shaming you, or mocking or dismissing your faith
- Crossing boundaries: anything romantic, financial or secretive
- Pressuring you, or promising a quick fix
- Anyone, including a church leader, telling you to stop prescribed medication without your doctor, or that needing help means your faith is weak
Isn’t counseling unspiritual?
Proverbs keeps coming back to the same idea: wise people seek counsel. God often answers prayer through people He has gifted and trained, the same way He works through doctors.
Scripture quoted from the World English Bible (public domain). General information, not medical or legal advice. Programs and phone numbers can change; check with your insurer or provider.
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